Solitary Company
by wiccangrrl13
Summary: Arizona comes back from Malawi for Callie, but moves on.. with someone else. Will they find their was back to each other?  Can Mark make Lexie love him, or will he lose his heart to someone new?
1. Chapter 1

**Solitary Company**

Callie stood in the middle of the airport. Her bags sitting on the floor next to her. She caught the last glimpse of Arizona's blonde hair as she rounded the corner to board her flight.

"You stay here and be happy"

She didn't know what to do. The tears that only moments ago threatened to overtake her would not come out now. No matter what wild thoughts had gone through her head, never once did she think about her and Arizona not being together. Sure she had been angry that Arizona accepted the grant, and then spoke with her about it afterwards.

"I'll go there and be happy"

Sure she left her no other option then to move to Africa with her, because Arizona Robbins didn't do long distance relationships. But, not being together? Never even crossed her mind. It was like being in a movie. Everyone walked around her, giving her a slightly annoyed glance as they adjusted their rout to the boarding terminal to avoid her. They all moved in fast forward but Arizona, Arizona had moved at a snail's pace. And now, she had no idea where to go or what to do. She just stood there. Alone.

"Take care of yourself."

Time passed and the brunette just stood there. It took the vibration from her phone to take her attention away from the terminal. Still barely moving she pulled the phone from her purse and glanced down at the name. Mark. She opened it but couldn't say a word."

"Torres, glad I caught you before you and Robbins left." There was no response from her so Mark Sloan pulled back his phone to glance at the screen to make sure the call was still connected. "Torres? You still there?" He looked to his left to Little Grey who smiled as she passed but stopped when she saw the look of concern on his face.

"She.. airport…not ruining it…"

"Torres are you ok?"

"Take care of yourself…and… how do I do that Mark?" She stuttered still in shock that the blonde and just left her behind. She didn't want to work it out, or even talk about it.. she just left again.."How do I do that?"

Mark knew the moment he had feared would come between these two had arrived. "Where are you?"

"Airport.." Callie managed to stutter out.

"On my way." Mark hung up the phone and looked at Lexie. "I gotta go. Reschedule my surgeries for tomorrow."

"Is, is everything ok." She grabbed for Marks arm. He turned back slightly and she dropped his hand. It never failed to amaze her that just touching him could give her butterflies in all the good down low places.

He noticed her touch and any normal day he would have been focused on it, trying to commit it to memory. But today, had had more important things to worry about then his unrequited love for Lexie Grey. "Torres needs me." And he turned and walked away. Getting in the car to drive to the air port he replayed their earlier conversation in his head..

"By big boob, I mean Africa."

"I love her Mark."

And suddenly he felt guilty. Had he guilted her into telling Robbins that she didn't want to go.

The sight that awaited him at the airport was worse than he feared. Calliope Torres still stood in the terminal. Her arms hanging limply at side. Her suitcase leaning against her leg. The crowd moved around her in a dance through the busy airport. He walked over to where she stood and stood in front of her to block her empty stare to what should have been her plan her to Africa. He gave her a smile full of sadness, and without words she lowered her head into his chest and began sobbing.

He slowly moved them towards the seats that were next to them. And they sat there. Her beautiful dark eyes red from tears, holding his hand. He had no idea how much time had passed before she spoke. She told him everything. Everything that had been said or thought since Arizona had won the grant. But when she had finished the story Mark was so angry it was hard to control. While he knew that both women had a valid point in their feelings he could not forgive Robbins for taking for granted the sacrifice that Callie was making. No, she didn't want to move to Africa, but she loved Arizona enough to do it for her, for them, and in the middle of the airport, when they should have been boarding a plane and starting a new chapter of their life together, she left his best friend, broken hearted, and alone. He didn't know what to say to her. But the pain she felt had resonated for him since Lexi had blown him off.

"Please just leave me alone. Can you do that, please just leave me alone."

He knew that it would be a long time before his best friend's heart would heal from this wound. He stood up and put her bag over his shoulder, and held out his hand. "Lets go home." The sadness in her eyes when she looked up at him broke his heart. Calliope Torres ventured one last look at the terminal that should have been hers. Before she could catch her breath Arizona appeared around the terminal door. Her carry on in hand. She walked slowly over to the brunette and dropped her bag. "I'm sorry." Was all the managed to erupt from her beautiful lips before Calliope crushed herself into the blondes arm. "I love you." Calliope whispered back, "I love you too.." A smiled playing across her lips.

"Torres?" Mark Sloan's inquisition pulled her out of her fantasy world. The smiled that had begun to spread across her face vanished.

"Let's go home." She sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

Mark couldn't help but to stop and only slightly open door to his apt. He could hear the music wafting through the crack, along with Callie's voice. Pushing the door open just a bit more to get a better view he had to stifle the laughter he felt. He leaned against the door frame to watch the show. The brunette completely oblivious to her audience continues to wash the dishes, shake her rump, and sing….

"Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da)

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah)

Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea) Creole lady marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir Voulez vous coucher avec moi"

He was pretty sure that somewhere deep inside Torres thought she was Christina Aguilera. It had been 6 months since that horrible day at the Airport. She had been so broken. Uncounted boxes of tissues, days without showering or changing clothes. In fact since she had practically been living with Mark he had to get in the shower with her to help. She just didn't care anymore. Truth be told he had been pretty worried about her. Even with all they'd been through he'd never seen her in this state. She would cry at night in bed, and whisper Arizona's name. It had taken a lot to get her out of bed every day. But then one day about 3 months after the incident he came home to find her out of bed all on her own. She was sitting on the sofa looking at some pictures of the ex-couple. He had prepared himself for the worst. But it never arrived.

"Torres?" he approached tentatively

"I love her so much Mark." She smiled softly at the picture of the couple.

"I know you do…"

"But, you know.. I'm sitting here, and I think.. that maybe it's not enough. You know… this wasn't the 1st time she just ended things because she didn't like what I had to say. I wanted a baby, some day, some way… and she didn't. While it was hard to be apart, she didn't even blink about trying to want the things I did. And we only worked it out because of the shooting. But then this happened, and I … I made myself want the things she did. I was ready to change my whole world to be with her, and she chose, again not to be with me. So maybe.. love isn't enough, or maybe I loved too much…"

"It's not your fault Torres" Mark gently sat down next to her. He put his hand in hers. Still prepared for anything to happen.. well..anything but what happened next.

"Your right. It's not my fault Mark. It's hers." She put down the pictures and looked at him. She wasn't angry. She wasn't yelling. She was just talking. "It's her fault. She chose another life. She chose not to be with me. So it's her fault. What did I lose Mark? I'd like to say I lost everything. That's how it's felt for all these months, but now I realize something. The only thing I lost was someone that didn't love me enough to choose me. And really, Mark.. I deserve better than that."

"No arguing from me on that Torres." He smiled at her. That Latina fire that had been vacant from her eyes was back.

And since then she had been slowly returning to her old self. She had taken a sabbatical from the hospital. One that Chief Webber was more than happy to grant since he was not going to lose the attending for 3 long years. It took a minute for him to realize that she wasn't doing dishes. She was packing.

"Hey that's my waffle Iron." He said as she walked in.

Caught in the dance of disgrace Calliope Torres jumped and threw a paper towel at him. "Callete!" she laughed. "And it's my waffle iron. You were just holding it for me."

"why are you packing?"

"I moving." She said as she put the French press into the box as well.

"Moving , where?" he asked concerned.

"Back across the hall."

"he glanced at the open door across the hall that was full of a painting staff. "How?" he questioned.

"I talked to Gustavo …." Mark gave her a questioning look.." The manager Mark." She shook her head… how did he pay his rent on time every month. "I saw that the new tenants were packing and I asked him about it. And instead of putting the apt on the market he's just going to let me move back in!" She turned the volume back up on the radio and began singing again.

He threw the towel back at her and grabbed an already packed box. "let me help them… God knows I can't wait to have the old bachelor pad back."

"You'll miss me.. you know it.."

"Never." He smiled and carried the boxes across the hall. He was so very proud of his bestfriend.

"She moved out?" Lexi Grey looked at Mark in complete disbelief. She had pretty much convinced herself that he had Callie would live together until they were both old and gray and still trying to pick up on chicks.

"Yep, I mean just back into her old apartment, but yeah, she moved out." He laughed. The crowd at the Bar was loud as usual, but Lexi was louder.

"I mean, wow… "

He laughed. "I know.. time to get the old bachelor pad back up and ruining." He regretted it as soon as he said it, but if there was anything good he could take away from the Arizallie drama. Arizallie had been a little play on words he used when talking about the couple and it just stuck. It was that he couldn't continue to hope that one day Little Grey would look at him like she use to. Their fractured relationship had finally healed to the point of being to be friendly. But he hated ever time that he saw a guy look at her. That would never change for him. He just couldn't be that guy anymore.

"I'm sure the mattress has been getting a little lonely without all that action." She laughed.

That was just one more reason he had to move on.

Looking up he waived over Callie as she walked in the door to Joe's.

"_**Torres! Lookin hot tonight."**_

"_**I know.. I'm always hot."**_

"_**You moved out!" Lexi broke in the conversation. Both Mark and Callie looked towards the girl.**_

"_**So, Mark…" It was Callie that broke the silence. "I talked to the Chief and I'm back on rounds."**_

"_**Alright!" Mark yelled. He had missed his best friend being around the hospital. "And tonight?" He gave her another quick once over. She was wearing jeans that made her ass look almost as good as Lexi's. And her Army green tank top hugged her rack in all the right places. Her black leather jacket accentuated the whole outfit by saying "Bad Girl." Her now shoulder length black hair gave her eyes more intensity. It was then that noticed the dark blue streaks in her hair. "What the hell is in your hair Torres?"**_

_**She smiled at him about to say something when a red head across the room caught her attention. The girl was clearly checking her out. Not in the subtle I don't want you to know way… No… this was.. I see you and I want you to see me. Mark followed her eyes. "Niiiicccceee.." he growled in agreement. **_

_**No longer able to handle all the testosterone.. or estrogen.. or pheromones.. or whatever it was those two gave off Lexi rolled her eyes and wandered off to sit with Meredith and Christina.**_

"_**Nice is not even right work for that." Callie smiled.**_

"_**Dibs!" They both yelled at the same time.**_

"_**No fair… I called saw her 1**__**st**__**" the Brunette frowned at Mark.**_

"_**Well I called Dibs 1**__**st**__** and I've been alone longer.." he fought her.**_

_**Smiling she prepared for what she knew would clinch her this chance. "I was left at the airport Mark. In the boarding terminal. I think I need this more than you do."**_

_**Never able to deny his best friend this is ushered her towards the red head and ordered another beer. As soon as Callie walked away, a very, hot blonde sat next to him. "Hi" she introduced herself. "I'm Summer. Can I buy you a beer?"**_

"_**Are you the woman of my dreams?" Mark joked, but quickly glanced towards where Callie had approached the girl.**_

"_**So who are we watching?" Summer questioned. "The redhead and the girl with the blue streaks?" mark gave her a questioning glance. "Well I mean obviously you two are friends.. I've been waiting for you to be alone for like 2 hrs. And that redhead has been staring down your girl from the moment she walked in. So my spider sense tells me that either you are in love with the brunette. Mark made a grossed out face that made the woman smile. Or she's your friends who's only recently getting back into the dating game and we are watching to make sure she doesn't crash and burn…"**_

_**Mark couldn't help but smile at the woman. "Wow..How did you do that?" **_

"_**I have excellent intuitive skills." She smiled at him.. "Ok that and I've been eves dropping on your conversations.." They both laughed. Joe dropped of their beers and they both turned their attention to the girls.**_

_**The red head handed Callie a beer as she walked over. "I was beginning to think that my powers of persuasion were lost on you. Either that or I was getting completely the wrong vibe and really were with the Neanderthal over there." **_

_**Callie looked back over her shoulder at Mark and the blond girl who quickly turned their heads away. "Definitely not with that Neanderthal, and you powers were not lost on me at all."**_

"_**That's good cause I'd hate to think that we lost another one to dark side." The girl smiled at Callie as she took a swig on her beer. Taking a drink of the beer herself Callie smiled back at the girl.**_

"_**No dark side here, no m 'am." Their conversation continued on and the flirting was obvious. Finally the redhead who had told Callie her name was Emma leaned next to Callie and asked.."So how long do I have to wait before I ask you for your #?"**_

_**Callie took a napkin and wrote on it. Smiling she handed the girl the napkin. Finished her beer in one long gulp and walked away. She patted Mark on the shoulder as she passed.**_

_**Summer was about to say something to Mark when he stopped her. Smiling he started counting… "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" as he finished 1, the red head walked casually past the bar and headed into the women's bathroom. Where only moments ago Torres had disappeared into.**_

"_**Nooooo…" Summer looked incredulously at Mark. He simply smiled and took another swig of the beer. His best friend was clearly back on the prowl.**_


	3. Chapter 3

The bathroom door opened and Callie was leaving seductively against the counter. The wasn't surprised to see the red head follow her into the bathroom. After all it wasn't her # she had written on that napkin. She smiled at Emma and turned towards the open door of the closest stall. She held it open in invitation to the girl standing before her. Emma raised an eyebrow as she smiled and walked into the stall. Closing the door behind her the brunette quickly pulled in the girl for a kiss. It was heated and passionate and frantic. Like there was not enough time for all they wanted to do. The red head moaned deeply as Calliope worked her lips down the neck of the girl and onto her collar bone. Callie's able hands explored the girl body. it was a new body.. one she had never known before and that thought excited her. She had always prided herself on being the good, faithful, girlfriend or wife... and so far all that had gotten her was a lot of nothing. So tonight, here, she didn't think about any of the restrictions she had put on herself. She didn't think about Arizona. All she thought about was how good this warm body felt pressed into hers. She pulled up the girls shirt and quickly pulled aside her bra and pressed her lips into the already erect nipples. She quickly turned the girl around and hiked up her skirt.

She pressed against the girls back and whispered into her ear the things she planned on doing to her. Emma's breath caught in her throat as she felt the surgeons hands against her wetness. That familiar feeling come over Callie. That want, and need and craving she hadn't felt in months. The door to the restroom opened but Callie didn't waiver. Her hands stayed in place. Working in and out of the red head, and she leaned the girl back against her and grabbed on to one of the girls breasts. Her fingers continued working and playing with the ever so sensitive clit. The girl tried to stifle her moans but was unsuccessful. Finally the skillful surgeons hands were too much for the girl and her breathing became deeper and quicker and her legs were swiftly turning to jello. If not for the firm grip of Calliope Torres the woman would not have been able to hold herself up with her own legs. Finally unable to hold off the cloud of pleasure that was overtaking her, she felt her pelvic muscles tense and clench and then she felt the euphoric release that she had known the brunette's fingers would provide. She felt her body relaxing and her breath slowed.

Calliope felt the woman finally climax and the warmth that spread across her fingers was amazing. It brought her a momentary sense of order and normalcy. Releasing the girl she leaned into her back and whispered in her ear, "Thank you." The girl steadied herself for a moment. She turned around to return the thanks as Callie was already opening the stall door.

"Where are you going?" The girl reached for Callie's arm.

"We're done here..." Callie smiled.

"Do I get to see you again?"

"Maybe... you know where I hang out." She leaned into the sink to wash her hands while the girl adjusted her clothing.

In the stall Emma was already planning on when to run into the brunette again. This had been a pleasant surprise to her crappy day. She opened the stall door to find the wash room empty.

When Callie stopped by Mark at the bar the blonde girl that had been sitting there was just leaving her #.

"Call me." She smiled at them both as she walked away.

"Do I want to know?" He smirked and raised and eyebrow at his friends.

"Probably." She smiled. "You ready?" Mark took the last swig of his beer and grabbed his jacket.

Lexi watched them leave and there was so much confusion for her where Mark was concerned. The reasons they broke up were valid reasons. At least the were valid at the time. But now, after everything had been said and done, after the shooting and her breakdown it was and had been Mark Sloan that had stood by her. He had told her that he was offering her a husband. But she had been involved with Alex at the time and was still so scared of the intensity that a relationship with Mark had. It was meant to have been simple and fun with Mark, but somewhere along the line it had turned into something that terrified her. Because it had been real. And when she had told him to leave her alone she didn't really think he wold, but he had. And now... now she really wanted to slap that blonde girl that had so easily caught Marks eye. She had tried that once.. being blonde for him.. but it just wasn't her. The door closed behind them and she dragged her attention back to the ever strange conversations that happened between Meredith and Yang.


	4. Chapter 4

It has been a very busy day at the hospital. Mark Sloan had been called in to consult on way to many cases today. As much as he loved his job sometime his brain just ached. That meant it was time for a beer at Joes. Which meant that it was time to change out of his scrubs into his jeans. As we walked out of the elevator and down the carpet warn hall towards his apt he couldn't help but smile. Summer was leaning against the door frame. It had been two months that they had been dating but it seemed like forever… and not in the "OMG IT"S BEEN FOREVER" kind of way. It was very comfortable. Like they had known each for a long time.

"What are you doing here?: he smiled.

"I was waiting for this hot guy that lived in this unit, but I guess you'll do." She leaned in to kiss him. She was warm, and soft and it felt good to hold her in his arms.

"So…I have to pick up Charlie from his dad's tomorrow. You wanna come with me?" She was unsure of how to approach the topic of Mark meeting her 3 year old. She knew he wanted children, but a ready made family was a totally different story. Not to mention it was a big step in their relationship. She hadn't introduced any of the men she'd dated since her divorce to her son.

"Really?" Mark smiled in wonder. He had heard thousands of stories about Charlie. Seen dozens of pictures and cell phone videos. But had yet to meet the precocious son. The both knew that it was big step to meet her son. Just like it was a big step for her to meet his friends. Which she had not done yet. His friends were his family. She knew Callie from the meeting in the bar but that was it. Maybe it was time to take that next step with her. Leaning in he kissed her softly as he unlocked the door. "Only it you come with me to Joe's tonight.?"

It was her turn to smile in wonder. "Really?" He nodded as he opened the door. "I would love to!"

Across the hall the door opened to his neighbors apt and a girl with green and red streaks in her hair,which sort of made her look like a christmas tree came walking out of Calliope Torres's apt. He hair was slightly muffled, and she look just a little off balance. "So.. wow.. I mean.. you.. know.. " she sort of giggled like she didn't know what to say.

Callie held the door open, still clothed in only a bed sheet. She leaned in and kissed the girl. Grabbing the back of her Christmas tree head. The girl moaned into the kiss. "Call me later." Callie said as she released the girls head. The girl smiled as she walked away. Mark cleared his throat to alert her that other people were there. Other people being him and Summer. She looked their direction and smiled. "What?" she laughed.

"Name?" Mark questioned.

Rolling her eyes slightly Callie paused to think.."Amber. Name?" she indicated towards the blonde on his left.

"Do you really want me to introduce you in a bed sheet?" She made a face at him. "Joe's." He stated.

"Give me 10 minutes." She closed the door behind her.

Doing the same the couple went into Mark's apt.

"is she always such a player?" Summer asked as she sat on the sofa while Mark went into his room to change.

"Player? Torres? No, she just blowing off some steam."

"Must be quite hot over there cause I've seen at least 6 woman going in and out since we met."

Mark couldn't' help but laugh. She had been having some fun lately. It's like they switched places. "She just healing."

"OHhhh right the blonde with the name.. Ari.. no.. Arizona right?"

"SSSShhhh!" Mark whispered. "That is she who must not be named."

Summer had heard all the stories. All about the relationship between Mark and Callie and the relationship that was Callie and Arizona. It was sad that things had ended like they did, but she was glad that the brunette was more into women then her best friend. Cause she didn't plan on sharing Mark Sloan. He was definitely a catch. She knew how protective he was of Torres, and that the she who must not be named comment was not only for her but for himself as well. He had been the one to nurse her through her pain.

Returning from his room she smiled. He had on jeans and t-shirt and smelled of Eternity. She kissed him again just to get a little closer to the smell before they headed out the door and down to Joe's. She was excited to meet his friends.

Callie hopped out of the shower and wiped her hand across the mirror to clear the steam. She simply loved the shorter hair… the blue streaks.. maybe it was time for that to go. She dressed and readied herself to go to Joe's and meet , officially, Mark's new girlfriend. Sometimes it was hard to be around him. He was all happy and had his own little bubble that she assumed was less pink and more green. He didn't want to come out of the bubble. She could think about her own little pink bubble she had live in with Arizona now, and it didn't hurt so much. Of course she had been distracting herself, but it had worked. She had made new "Friends". She told them up front that she was damaged goods and that fun was all she wanted. To her surprise, the more unavailable she made herself the more they seemed to be interested. Emma, the always fun red-head that she had met at Joe's told her it was because they all wanted to be the one to save her. Funny thing was, they were saving her. In the only way they could. By being a distraction. She knew that was wrong and inconsiderate on so many levels, but they had gone into it with their eyes wide open. She purposely picked women that she knew she only wanted one thing with. Emma was a little different. Yes, the hooked up on a regular basis, but they were like the same person. They got along, but didn't' want anything from each other. It had worked out quite well.

She heard the door to Mark's apt close. She did miss that hand in hand feeling. Knowing that you had someone to call when something bad happened, or when you had a really good day. Someone other than Mark Sloan. She stepped into her walk in closet. It was always a mess in here. Arizona was always on her about that. She smiled at that thought. At least she could remember the good along with the bad now. She picked up a pair of her scrubs from the floor to put in the laundry. Checking the pockets she found some papers that had clearly been washed before. So much for remembering that. She opened them slowly trying to salvage any important information that might have been on them. When finally opened she had to laugh. The paper held a phone #...

"Use it if the feeling strikes you"

She remember when she had tried so hard to get that # off her hand. That she had felt guilty about it. About it being there and about writing it down. She felt guilty. But the girl had been nice and funny and she never inteneded to use it. She just wrote it down as a reminder that someone had flirted with her. She had completely forgotten that she had even written it down, until now. Looking at the # she put it on the counter, instead of the trash. And grabbed her black leather jacket before walking out the door to Joe's.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ok.. so let's see if I got this straight…." Jamie Anders smiled. She furrowed her brow at Callie who laughed at her. "So… Meredith's best friend is Christina, who is married to Owen, who was in the service with Teddy, who was secretly in love with him. She is good friends with Arizona who is your ex. You are bestfreinds with Mark who is still in love with Lexi , who dated Alex when he wanted to Marry her. Alex was married to Izzie who was best friends with George. George was in love in Meredith to begin with who had a one night stand with a guy from Joe's that turned out to be her boss, and now husband Derrick. Who was married to Addison who had an affair with Mark who is Derrick's life long friend?"

Called pretended to think about for a second. "Sounds about right to me."

"Man you guys need to branch out a little bit, you know that?" She raised her eyebrow at Callie and smiled.

"That's where you come in." Callie smiled back and took a sip of her frappaccino.

It had been about two months since she had answered the call from Callie Torres. When she had given the surgeon her # she had really hoped that she would call. But when no call had come she figured that she had been right in her first instinct that the brunette was taken. So when the phone rang all these month later she was completely, and pleasantly surprised to hear the girl voice. They met for coffee at the place she now considered theirs. It was odd, and uncomfortable and forced. But she got the basics from Callie.. that her and her gf of the last few years had broken up and enough time had passed,but getting back out there was weird with someone else. She's been there herself not too long ago. That day in the hospital had been her first effort.

She was sure that after that first date that she wouldn't not hear from the girl again. But two days later she did. This time they went to Nick's Pizza. They watched a Seahawks/Steelers football game. They drank beer and laughed. And mourned when the Steelers beat their home team… and the kissed. It was soft and tentative, and amazing. Knowing that she was coming out a relationship Jamie didn't push. It had been two months. Two months of getting to know this unbelievable woman. Two months of kissing, and some small petting. And two months of realizing that she wanted this women to touch her.

"Hello.. earth to Jamie… hello come in Jamie.." Callie snapped her fingers to bring Jamie out of her thoughts. "Where did you go?"

"Sorry babe, you were talking and your lips just distracted me." Callied leaned in and kissed her. "Now you are trying to distract me again."

Callie laughed. "Well, mija I have to get back to the hospital. Tonight? Dinner, my apt?"

"I'll be there."

"See you then." Callie kissed the girl and knew… tonight would be the night. She had been dealing with the Arizona break up by sleeping with girls she knew would distract her, but sleeping with Jamie would different. That's why she waited so long.. to long. She knew that she finally had to let go of any hopes of a life with Arizona. And this women was beautiful, and sweet, and smart and her feelings had grown beyond what she had hoped to feel again after losing Arizona. And tonight it was time she showed Jamie just how much she cared about her.

The laptop screen glowed brightly in the darkness. The letter Arizona has written the moment she'd gotten on the plane was displayed on the screen. She had intended to send it immediately, but had chicken out.

"if you get on that plane, if you go without me we are done. You hear me, we are over!"

_My Dearest Calliope,_

_My father always taught me that if you love some, set them free. This seat here on the plane is too hard, and too lonely, but this is all for the best Callie. I know you can't see it now, but this was not your journey to take. You have a great big, wonderful life for you in Seattle and you shouldn't have to leave because of me. This was my journey. My responsibility. You are an amazing woman, and I am so, __**so**__ lucky to have you in my life. _

_I'm sorry for the way things happened at the air port. I was trying as hard as you were to make this something we could do together, but in the end all that was doing was hurting us both. I couldn't enjoy my win and you couldn't be happy about giving up your life. I never asked you to do that. I know that you would have given up everything for me, for us. But love should never be about what you give up._

_Callie, please know that I love you, and that I want this to work out. I wish that I could change things with you. That I cold kiss your beautiful face. That I could talk to you and let you know that I haven't given up on us, and that I don't want you too either, but that would make this situation harder on us both. _

_I love you Calliope. Please forgive me. _

Arizona sighed. It had been almost a year since that horrific day at the airport. A year since she had spoken to Callie. She was amazing proud of the work she was doing here. The tiny human she was helping on a daily basis were incrediable. Even with so little in their lives, their smiles could simply break your heart. She took pictures of the things the children from Seattle Grace had given her with the children in Malawi. She emailed them back to Teddy who had given them to the kids at Seattle Grace. She had an idea and enlisted Karev to help. A pen pal program between Seattle Grace/Mercy West, and her kids in Africa. It was so much fun keeping in touch with those kids and their families, and seeing the happiness these letters brought the children here.

What was hard was that while she kept in touch regularly with Teddy she also heard about Calliope. Initially she knew that Teddy held back on the details. Not sure she really wanted to know she didn't push, or ask. She didn't want to know how badly she had hurt Callie. Instead of sending the email to Callie, yet again she saved it and opened the newest one from Teddy.

She read all the details. The new Peds Attending was apparently an ass who was torturing Karev. Christina has quit the program. Callie had finally moved out of Sloan's apt. Arizona felt a little relief at that news. She had feared that Callie would end up with Mark. She knew that Callie had changed, but that was always a fear of hers. And now, those fears seemed to be laid to rest. At a time where she knew that if Callie was going to waiver in her sexuality, it would happen now. But it didn't, she hadn't waivered at all. She smiled, until she read the next line. Teddy let her know as easily as she could that a couple of new people had come into the fold. Summer, a woman that Mark had been seeing seriously enough to meet her kid and to bring her into the group… and Jamie. She felt sick to her stomach.

Closing her lap top. The tears began to fall. Even if she sent that email now it was too late.


	6. Chapter 6

Jamie laughed again. She never stopped laughing when she was with Callie. These past few months had been fantastic. She loved being with her. Her friends were great. Not has hard to get to know as she would have 1st thought. She simply loved Mark and Summer. She definitely understood why he and Calliope were suck good friends. He could be kind of a jerk sometimes… but he never meant it.. and in reality if you needed something he would give you the shirt off his back to help. Ok, so it was so you could also see how good he looked with his shirt off, but still. They were spending a lazy Saturday in bed. They struggled briefly over the remote. Callie wanted to watch the First 48, and Jamie really wanted to watch re-runs of One Tree Hill. Jamie won one episode before Callie turned on the First 48 Marathon. After about 10 minutes on the show she decided that she needed to distract Callie from the TV because she just could not deal with another body.

She slowly took off her closes while snuggled under the blankets. Callie was intensely into the show. So at first she just snuggled up next to her. She lay her head on Callie's chest and gently rubbed her hand across the girls stomach. Callie moaned absent mindedly.

She had bee immensely interested in the show, but now she closed her eyes. Jamie's hands felt good on her stomach. And they felt even better as they made their way up her night shirt and began circling her nipples. She moaned again and suddenly the TV was not important anymore. She turned towards her and realized that the girl next to her was already naked. "Well hello there." She looked into Jamie's eyes. Her own dark eyes full of lust.

"Hi." Jamie seductively smiled as she got up and straddled Callie. Completely naked she leaned down against her and they began kissing. Callie grabbed the back of the girls dark hair to hold her in. The kiss was intense and hot and it made Callie wet. The girl then pulled Callie's hand above her head and pinned them to the bed. She let her other hand trail down her chest and in between the girls legs below her. Working her fingers around Callie didn't struggle but let the girl tease her and pull it back and forth between the brink of cumming. Finally removing her hand she began a trail of kisses that followed that had followed the one her hand had left. Finally pulling up Callie's legs to allow room for her head she began to part her with her tongue. Callie closed her eyes and let the feeling wash over her.

Jamie loved going down on women, and especially on Callie. Callie loved every minute of it, and Jamie had all she could to stop herself from cumming just from doing this. She loved how wet Callie got, and how wet it had her. It made her ache to feel Callie inside of her. She knew when to stop to keep Callie wanting more. Reaching over the side of the bed she pulled a strap on out of her bed. They had talked about using one and thought this would be the perfect time. She showed it to Callie and together they put it on her. Once it was on, Jamie could barely contain her excitement as she once again was above Callie, but this time she was pushing the strap on that Callie wore inside her. Callie's hand gripped the girls breasts and her lips and teeth gently nibbled on the girls nipples.

Callie was completely turned on. The girl above her, riding her was a complete turn on. Jamie's eyes were closed and Callie watched the girls beautiful body as she rocked back and forth. She finally closed her own eyes as she listened to the moans and finally felt the release of the other girl as it rolled down her sides. As soon as she was done Jamie pulled herself off the strap on and immediately began going down on Callie again, until she made the Black haired beauty shake and sweat and finally lay completely out of breath.

"Wow." Callie managed to say.

"Right back at ya." The girl answered. "But I thought you wanted to watch the First 48 marathon?"

All the two girls could do was laugh. "This was definately better than the First 48. Well, ok maybe it ran even with it." Callie joked and Jamie hit her playfully with a pillow.

"Shut up!" Teddy laughed hysterically as she took a sip from her coffee. She was sitting across the table from Arizona Robbins. After a little over a year of living in Africa the program that Arizona had worked so hard to get off the ground was sufficiently running on its own. This meant that she didn't need to live there anymore. A month or two visit every six months would keep her plan up and running smoothly. So she knew that there really was no choice but to come home and try to fix things with Calliope.

"I did.. seriously.." she smiled at the Cardiac surgeon and took a sip of her coffee. She had come back to see Callie but had spent the last 3 months doing anything but that. She wanted so badly to fix things with Callie, but that meant interrupting the new happiness she had found with Jamie. A happiness she had forced her to find with someone else. How could she do that to her again? So she got a job at Washington State University Medical Center and hung out with Teddy. She had even started dating again. Nothing serious. But at least it distracted her from the pain of losing Calliope to someone else.

"Arizona? OMG it is you! What are you doing here?" Lexi walked over to the girls and smiled.

"Little Grey. It so good to see you." Arizona made a forced smile at the girl.

"Omg I have so many questions for you. I mean I won't bother you with them now but wow I mean. Africa.. and now here.. and OH.. have you seen Callie?" Lexi shut her mouth quickly after a crazy eyed look from Teddy. "Sorry. I didn't mean.. I know that you guys.. It's been nice seeing you again." She smiled and walked off. Sometimes she hated that she had a habit of open mouth insert foot.

Arizona watched Lexi walk out the door. "Ok this is soo not good!"

"What?" Teddy questioned.

"Lexi, knowing I'm here. She is so going to tell Mark and then Mark will tell Callie and then.. boom!" She was slightly panicked and slightly out of breath.

"Lexi and Mark don't exactly spend a lot of time together. He is otherwise involved. I don't think she'll say anything."

Arizona took a sip of her coffee. She was terrified to see Callie again… and yet it was all she wanted to do.

"Hey there beautiful." Lexi spun around at the sound of Marks voice as she walked back into the hospital. But it wasn't her he was talking to. Summer, in all her blondness had brought him lunch. Man she disliked that woman. Oh I have a kid, and ohh look on top of it.. I'm all hot and I bring you lunch. Stupid blonde people. Lexi smiled but hurried off so as not to let on how much all this hurt. It had been her fault he was with someone else… but it was too hard to see sometimes.

"Lexi!" Mark called after the girl. She had one nice ass that girl.. he thought. Ok so he still checked her out occasionally. Old habits die hard. Summer laughed next him when Little Grey turned around. "See you." she kissed Mark on the check and walked away.

Lexi wondered if it was her imagination or if Mark really look annoyed that she had kisses him. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

"You got any plans for tonight?" He asked.

Maybe it wasn't just wishful thinking.

"Me? Plans? Oh no. I mean.. no not tonight. Just planned on staying in… umm.. wh.. why/" She asked.

"Well I was thinking, dinner and movie.. on me."

She smiled. "that would be great." She knew she was jumping at the chance no matter how small it was that he wanted to be around he.

He smiled back, "Great. So we will drop off Charlie around 5. We were thinking maybe Mega Mind. He's been dying to see that." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you. Summer and I really need a night without the child. "

"Ch, Charlie…" she mumbled. He WANTED HER TO BABYSIT! She chocked back her words so much there was no way to get out a NO before he walked away.

"I haven't been here in ages." Callie looked around the room at Le Fournil. This had been the place of her and Arizona's first date. The one that had made her feel horrible because she couldn't afford it. Tonight though it was Jamie's pick and she was in a better financial place. The waiter escorted them to their table. As soon as they were seated she excused herself to go to the ladies room. After she washed her hands her and was heading back to her table she almost ran into Emma.

"Hey there Stranger!" Emma smiled and they hugged. "What are you doing here? And why haven't you called me. I need to go shopping and that means I need you." she laughed.

Callie laughed. "Well the guess the answer to both questions is… I'm on a date. So that why I'm here and apparently why I haven't called. I'm seeing someone"

"ok I see.. you get serious and I get the boot.. whatever I understand.." she playfully joked with Callie.

"No. that's not it.. you know.. it's just the honeymoon phase." She grinned and nodded towards her table so Emma could see her date.

"Niiiccceee." She crooned. "I'm out too. 3rd date… cant' tell if she's serious or not yet. Though the sex is great." She then nodded towards her table to show off her date. Callie froze. "Her name is Arizona. Is that a great name or what? Very different. Very original." Callie's eyes were frozen in place. "Hello?"

"Arizona Robbins?"

"Yeah.. you know her? Please don't tell me you hooked up with her and didn't call her, cause that will make it very hard to double date…"

Over at the table Arizona had a feeling that there were eyes on her. No doubt Emma was bragging about the Surgeon she was dating. Ready to make her biggest smile and wave at the waiter or maybe a ex-girl friend she turned her head slowly .. only to lock eyes with Calliope Torres the moment she had fully turned…


	7. Chapter 7

Callie looked only briefly at Arizona before walking away. She stormed back to her table where Jamie looked up at her.

"We're leaving." Callie ordered, the look on her face concerned Jamie enough not to ask but to just grab her purse and get up.

"Calliope! Wait!" Arizona reached the couple right as they walked out the door. She grabbed Callie's arm. "Callie."

The brunette ripped her arm out of the blonds grip. "Let go!" She yelled and continued to walk.

Arizona stepped in again to grab her arm. This time Jamie stepped in between. "I believe the lady told you to let go, and I suggest you do just that before we have a problem."

"WE already have a problem." Arizona said to Jamie. "So I suggest YOU move out the way before I become not so nice."

"Oh really? This is you nice? Wow, then it's no wonder she's moved on."

Arizona looked like all the air had been pushed out of her. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It doesn't take a genius to know that look on Calliope's face could only mean one thing, and I've heard enough about you and seen enough pictures to know who you are Arizona."

"I've heard thing too Jamie and I know exactly who you are." Arizona added.

"Good, so then you know that I am the one who is with her now. I am the one that makes her smiles. I helped her back from how she was after you left. I did that…"

"Great, now I know the rebound girl, now move!" Arizona ordered. Callie still stared in the opposite direction.

"No. I won't move, you have no right to tell me to move because you hurt her. And I won't let that happen again."

"Really, you think you are so much better than me?"

"I do,,, and do you know why? Hmm? One simple reason. Callie is an amazing, beautiful, caring, intelligent person, and I would NEVER leave her in an airport and tell her to take care of herself."

Arizona looked like she was about to cry. Until Jamie made her comment about the air port. And then she didn't even think. It was all reaction. She reached out and slapped the girl. Instantly regretting it because she knew the girl was right.

And then suddenly for the 1st time since the airport she found herself face to face with Calliope Torres. The look of hurt and anger in the woman's eyes killed her.

"3rd date huh?" She spat at Arizona. "How were those 3 years in Africa? Oh, no, wait, it's only been.. what a year? And you've not only been in constant contact with Teddy, but apparently back here in Seattle, and long enough to have met someone and been on 3 dates." She shook her now short black hair. "Wow. But you wanna know what's funny. Hmm? See I was prepared to feel .. oh I don't know… so much happiness at seeing you again or anger. So when I saw you in there I reacted like I felt those things, because I thought I would. But you know what I feel now? I feel nothing for you. I'm happy, and you may have made me happy at one time, but if you and I would have gone to Africa together I never would have called Jamie. So instead of being mad at you, I'm kind of thankful you did what you did."

Arizona looked at Callie. All she wanted to do was take her in her arms, Kiss her. Hold her. Tell her how sorry she was. How this all seemed like a horrible nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. How she loved her and would always love her. But hearing Callie say those words made her speechless. She always thought that no matter what had happened that Callie would come back. That she wouldn't really move on. The only thing she could do was look at Jamie and say.."I'm sorry." She sighed and looked directly into Callie's eyes. "Then I guess your welcome is what is required of me." She stared at the girl looking for any break in her. "I'm sorry." She said and walked away.

Standing there now alone was Emma. "Well, I guess that means you did sleep with her. Huh.." She smiled trying to break the tension.


	8. Chapter 8

Lexi laughed at the little boy. Even when he was falling asleep he was cute. She wanted to hate this. To hate that Mark had asked her to baby sit, but little Charlie had won her over. Of course she still cursed Mark every time she realized that she was playing with a child and who knew what he was doing. Finally asleep she took him to bed and covered him up and gave him his favorite teddy. She wanted one. That was something she only realized recently. Maybe not right this second, but she did want one. She heard the car in the drive and readied herself to smile and be nice to Mark and Summer.

Mark walked in alone. He smiled at her and it made her heart break. Why? Why was he with Summer? "How's Charlie? Did little man behave himself?"

Suddenly she felt the need to confront him. "You asked me to baby sit Mark. You as ME to babysit! Did , did you not think that would hurt? I mean, ME, you asked ME to baby sit.!"

Mark was confused with this sudden outburst. He looked uncomfortably side to side trying to decide what to say. "Thank you?" he asked.

"Why Mark? Why would you ask me to baby sit?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"Don't you think about me anymore?" she asked almost pleading.

"Think about you.." he approached this odd conversation tentatively.

"Am I that revolting because of the incident with Karve? Am I that tainted that even now after all this time you hate me?"

"Hate you?" He laughed. "I never hated you Lexi."

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you ask me to baby sit when it kills me to see you two together? Though I guess more importantly it's why would I agree to this tortuous thing you asked me.. and I didn't want to agree. I didn't, but you smiled at me and I couldn't get the words out, and then you gave me directions and a time and an address, and you left me here with Charlie. And god that boy is adorable and he worships the ground you walk on, and his mom is totally smitten with you, yes smitten, and I go to work every day hoping the worst for these people. Hoping that you'll decided that you still want me. And then tonight I realized that , you know.. why, why would you do that. I mean.. I told you to leave me alone. I did that and never said anything else.. I never told you to pick me. I never told you that I loved you and that I don't' care what happened before. I never said it.. and even if I did I never showed you. so, why would you chose me … and oh hell…" and with that she could no longer take the confused and exasperated look on Mark Sloan's' face. She walked over to him and put her hand on his face and kissed him. She kissed him, long, and hard and with enough force to show him that she had wanted that for months. He put his hands on the back of her head and kissed her back. But only for a second. She stopped him and he look bewildered. She looked down at the cash in his hand he had intended to give her for her baby sitting services.

She smiled. "Why don't you save that for the next one. I don't want it." As Lexi walked down the drive to her own car she felt wonderful, until she saw the smiling face of Summer waving to her. "Dirty mistress…" she mumbled to herself.


	9. Chapter 9

Back at her apt Callie sat on her sofa. Alone. Anxiously listening to hear the door to Mark's apt. After her run in with Arizona she and Jamie had headed home. But all she could see was Arizona and it pissed her off. So when they got back to her apt she instantly started kissing Jamie. She couldn't get the woman's clothes off fast enough. But Jamie had stopped her.

"I love you, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that tonight, but I'm not a distraction."

"I'm not…." Callie tried to say she was not trying to distract herself but she couldn't lie to Jamie. She didn't want to make her feel like she was a distraction. Because she had was sooo much more. "I'm sorry."

Jamie took the brunettes hands in her and gently kissed them. "Don't be. I mean, it's Arizona. I know the story. And I know how much you loved her. So what I'm guessing you need right now is not sex. And it's not me. You need to deal with this. So for tonight I'm going to go home and let you deal. Know that if you need me I'm only a phone call away, and tomorrow we have that dinner thing at the university." She kissed Callie and grabbed her jacket. "I love you babe. It will be ok." And she left.

Since then Callie had been waiting for Mark. Not sure if he would even be coming home tonight. He had gone out with Summer and had left Lexi to baby sit. Why that man was so blind to how much Lexi still loved him she had no idea. So she figured he would be spending the night at Summer's. She gave him till 11 before she would call his cell phone. So when at only 10 she heard his keys in the door she was surprised.

Jumping up she ran and opened her door just as he unlocked his. He turned as he heard her door. Callie just stood there and he stopped and looked at her. "Lexi kissed me. She told me she loved me and she wanted me to choose her and she kissed me. In Summer's house. After I met Charlie, she kissed me." He looked flustered and confused…. There was beat of silence in the hall way.

"Arizona is back, and has been back for who knows how long. And tonight. Tonight I ran into Emma who was on her third date.. you know… with Arizona.

There was another moment of silence.

"You win." Mark said. "Beer?"

"Beer."

And she followed him into his apt.


	10. Chapter 10

"She, she… shee… " were the only sounds that came out of Arizona's mouth, her face red with tears when Teddy opened the door. Teddy ushered her in quickly and closed the door. Arizona set on the couch and opened the white paper bag she had brought with her. She pulled out the maple bar she had picked up from the Donut shop down the street. She took a bit between sobs.

Teddy sat there for a good 10 minutes while Arizona ate the maple bar and all the donut holes she had bought , without really knowing what had happed. Though she was pretty certain that it meant she had seen Callie.

Finally after the donut holes were done Arizona had calmed down enough to tell Teddy the story.

"wow.. ok.. umm…Well I mean, that was definitely not the way to see her again for the 1st time."

"Right!" Arizona said. "I had this whole scene in my head. I would show up at her door and she would open it and I would tell her all these things that basically said that I had come back for her. Come back because I loved her and missed her and wanted her.. and she would you know.. probably close the door in my face initially. But I would have said all those.. things… and in the end she would tell me that she loved me too and we would kiss and make up. And you know it may be crazy of me to think that.. and totally delusional.. but it could have happened… at least I'd like to believe that and ok probably only the part about her slamming the door on me would have happened, but in the end we would have kissed and she would still love me, but now.. there's Jamie and I thought she was just a distractions but she's not. She actually cares about her and she said she's glad I left… She said she's glad that she didn't come and she choose Jamie and … and.. an…" the tears threatened to overtake her again, she looked into the now empty white bag, "and now I have no more donuts…" and with that the tears completely overtook her.

Teddy just sat there and let her cry. It was all she could do currently for her friend. So she sat there while she cried. Still trying to talk to Teddy, but she could only pick up certain words and phrases through the tears. Something about a pink bubble, and at least it wasn't Mark that took her place, and how she hated Jamie, until finally spent Arizona had cried herself to sleep on Teddy's sofa.


	11. Chapter 11

***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT'S BEEN READING! I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR FEEDBACK. I'M SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO POST BUT I GOT LOST IN THE ABYSS THAT IS SEASON 7. FINALLY I HAD TO GO BACK TO WHAT I IMAGED… A CALZONA WITHOUT MARK.. LOL***

The hospital seemed too small now that Arizona had gotten her job back. It seemed that everywhere Callie turned there she was. Talking to Karev, consulting with Mark, eating in the cafeteria. Jamie smiled at Callie encouragingly as they entered the cafeteria. Arizona stealing glances from her table with Mark of all people. Callie felt so betrayed.. why was he having lunch with Arizona. She gave him a look that would kill if that was possible. Jamie sat her at t able.

"So, this morning at work the craziest thing happened, my boss tells that they have been looking at my work and have decided that I have been doing an amazing job, and guess what? They promoted me!"

Callie was still distractedly looking at the Mark and Arizona table.

"Why is he there? I mean, he won't even make eye contact with me that snake. Why is he sitting with her. What now, he's like not friend anymore.? He suddenly has like this inane "friend ship" with her. I mean, he's got to know that he's not gonna get any. She's gay. I mean.. that is just sooo not gonna happen…"

Jamie gave an annoyed look at the table, then turned her attention back to Calliope. She took a deep breath. "The promotion includes a substantial raise, and a dozen or so other perks!" the Brunettes eyes did not leave the other table. "So after they told me all of that I told them to shove their job and their perks. That I was working only to stay where I was and they could give that raise to some one else! Do you think I did the right thing?" She eyes the other girl expectantly.

"I do, exactly the right thing."

"That's it. Hello?" She waived her hand in front of Callie's face to get her attention. Callie turned her eyes towards Jamie.

"What?" She snapped.

"Ok. Listen, I've been cool. I've been calm and you've done nothing at all really to alleviate any fears I've had about Arizona, in face you've made then worse."

Callie looked dumbfounded. "I have tried to alleviate any concerns you've had. What do you want me to do, tell me I'll do it.. but you are gonna to deal with your own jealousy issues."

"Calliope Torres, I can not believe those words actually just came out of your mouth. Could you be more selfish, or self centered right now? You are in a relationship with me, not Mark, or Arizona at this point. ME! And you have been distant for a while now, and to day you didn't even hear a work I said for fear that you might miss what is going on with you're beloved Arizona. So, you know what.. fine.. I have jealousy issue, but you, as my girl friend should not be telling me to just "deal with them" and as for what I want you to do? Nothing.. I want you to do nothing. Because as of now, as of this minute I'm not your concern anymore. I love you Calliope, but right now, I don't like you very much anymore. Good luck in all you do." Callie listened as Jamie said all of this, not even raising her voice as she spoke these words. Jamie smiled as she wished her luck and took her stuff and left the table.

Callie watched the girl leave, Knowing that she was right. That in these last few weeks she had not treated Jamie very well and the girl deserved better. Though that made her even angrier at Arizona. She looked back over to their table only to find it empty.

Finally finding Arizona on the peds floor was harder then she'd expected. But finally finding her in a break room, she closed the door behind her. Arizona jumped slightly as the closing door startled her, "Calliope."

"Don't, don't, don't Calliope me! What do you want? Why are you here? You couldn't just leave well enough alone and stay gone? Noooo.. you had to come back, and now Jamie broke up with me, and what you think you're gonna steal my best friend away too. Let me tell you blondie that is so not going to happen."

Arizona sat her coffee cup down. "Why I am here? Because of You. Why couldn't I leave well enough alone? Because well enough was not good enough and because I love you. Why did I come back? Because I loved and missed, and regretted every day that I was away from you. As for Jamie breaking up with you, I suspect it because you are still completely and totally in love me, and while you may be denying those feeling because of anger and hurt she could no ignore them. And Mark, well you made him and I friends and just because you have not realized yes that you can't lie your life with me, doesn't mean that I have to lost another friend. And if you don't like any of that I don't care. Because I do love you Calliope."

'Enough! Enough of this. You love me? You left me! Cause I was having a hard time leave my home and friends, and family to move all the way across the world to be with you! You didn't want to deal with me, so you just dismissed me. Got on a plane, and left. And what.. a year later you think you can come back and we just pick up where we left off? Get a clue Arizona, I've moved on."

"No you haven't. If you had moved on we wouldn't be standing her having this conversation. And while I plan on saying, and showing you how sorry , I am not the only one that caused this situation. I'm not Calliope. I left, yes I did, but this was my dream. For as long as I can remember this was my dream to go help the tiny human that didn't have what we have here. To put a smile on their faces. And then I met you, and you became my dream too. And I didn't know how to reconcile those two things. But I was suppose to be your dream too, and you should have supported me. You didn't do one truly supportive thing since the day I found out about the grant. You smiled and you ohhed and aahhhed, but they weren't genuine. All you were worried about was me leaving. And so you decided to come with me. I didn't ask. You told me you wanted to come. And I, I was so happy that I got to have both of my dreams. But you didn't really want to come, you just didn't want me to leave. So you choose to come with me.. and from that moment on you regretted it.

You didn't want to leave your job. You didn't want to leave you friends. You didn't want to leave your home. Which I understood, but you never, not for one single second let me forget that. Let me forget that you didn't want to, but that you were giving it all up for me. That you were not happy about moving to Malawi with me, but that you were doing it for me. Well let me tell you, you were not doing it for me, you were doing it for you. Don't kid yourself. And in that time you turned both of my dreams into something I dreaded. I loved you, and being with me was making you unhappy, and I love my chance at Malawi and you made it something I began to stress about. I dreaded knowing that we would be there and you would be unhappy. You made something that I had dreamed about accomplishing, something that I almost wished hadn't happened. And you didn't care. You didn't Calliope. You wanted me to know that Malawi was my dream, not yours. And so in the end, you forced me to make a choice. Maybe I did it at the wrong time and in the wrong place, but I didn't not come to that decision lightly, and I was not being selfish about it. You were. I had already let go of not wanting Children after knowing how much it meant to you. I gave in to that "someday" and I accepted it with a smile and a change in my dreams because anything that meant that much to you, meant that much to me. I expected the same from you in return. I didn't get it. So next time you as me why? Know that the question should not be about why did I come back but why did I leave."

Arizona closed the door behind leaving the brunette alone in the room, speechless.


	12. Chapter 12

THank you everyone for reading and all the positive responses. I know my use of Mark in here is hard to deal with considering the current state of him basically putting himself in the middle of our girl, and i really think he and Callie need to learn what the word "Boundaries" mean. That said.. I have always loved the friendship between him and Callie, and hopefully AZ one.. so I've put my wishful thinking cap on and wrote this story.

Callie stood watching Arizona as she spoke to the parent's of the kid that they were getting ready to do a lower leg amputation on. The child's leg had been twisted when he born and any attempts to correct the abnormality had not worked. The parent's were opting to amputate and have a fake leg made for the child so he would have a chance at walking.

"Stop drooling over blondie." Mark Sloan droaned as he stopped at the table.

"I'm not dooling. I observing the parent's reaction to details of the surgery?"

"you were drooling. Why don't you just tell her you're sorry?"

"Umm, excause me?"

"C'mon Torres she's right. You're weren't exactly supportive of the Grant."

"Really Mark.. Really.. don't you remember your whole boob job story? You practically begged me to stay."

"No, I begged you to look at the situation. It was obvious you did want to go. She just did something about it."

"Yeah, she left.."

"That's getting a little old Torres. She also came back, and has spent many a night outside your door, leaving notes on your door, purposely putting herself in your way just to say she was sorry. Stop being a sour puss and tell her you love her and your sorry."

"You mean exactly like you did with Lexi? You're great at dishing it out mark, but you don't take your own advice. Besides it's Arizona. She'll keep trying, knowing how crappy it was that she left. And when, or if I finally decided to forgive her it will be on my terms. Not hers…She'll wait."

But both Mark and Callie watched as the Parent's of the tiny human turned to update an approaching member of their family with the news. Both Mark and Callie watched with admirning eyes as the tall volupitons woman who made Jeans and a white t-shirt left incrediably sexy stopped in her tacks. Both Mark as Callie watched as the women said, "Zonabona? OMG what are you doing here?"

Both Mark and Callie turned their eyes towards Arizona, whose smile now lit up the entire room on it own. "Shellybelly! I work here.. what are you doing in Seatlle?"

I'm here for my Nephew's surgery? You're not.. are you the surgeon?" The girl smiled.. "Tami how could you not remember Arizona." Tami looked at Arizona again. "Zona.. you didn't remember her either. C'mon people… " Mark and Callie watched as the lights suddenly went on and the two other women remember each other.

Both Mark and Callie had slowing maneuvered their way over the group of people. Laughing like she somehow understood the conversation that was going on Callie nudged Mark to say something.

"You guys know each othere?" was all he could think of.

"She was my 1st girlfriend!" Arziona beamed.

"I was your first for a lot of things Zonabona." The girl grinned. "Are we all done with medical shop talk here cause I would love to take you out for coffee and catch up if you have the time Zonie."

"Oh we have a lot to prepare for….." Callie tried to jump into the convo.

"We do." Arizona added and Callie silently breathed a sigh of relief. " But… that call wait.. the surgry isn't until tomorrow. Karev, … " she called as he waked past the group. "Can you take this chart. Please update the notes and check his stats. Make sure he stays in the safety zone, and give him all the pre-op meds to prepare him for tomorrow." Alex took the chart and headed off with a nod of the head. "look at that.. I'm free for the afternoon."

"Ok then.. lets do lunch instead of coffee since I get you all to myself to while."

Arizona smile and waved distracted to Mark and Callie, too consumed with the brunette at her side.

Mark took at sideways glace and the raven haired woman next to him. "You're right Torres. There's no rush. She'll wait."


	13. Chapter 13

****Sometime I wish Ghost Callie would have stayed around.. lol..But she is still my favorite!""

"What are you still doing here Torres? You were off hours ago.?"

Callie looked at Mark as he approached. Panic in her eyes. "She took the rest of the day off. She did.. she took it off. She called Karev and had him cover he patients for the rest of the day. She took the day off. Arizona does not just take a day off mark."

Inside mark wanted to say "I told you so.." but didn't. He knew that wouldn't help his best friend. "Everyone's entitled to play hookie once in a while."

"But she didn't just play hookie Mark. She left with that.. that… that…"

"Shelly.." Mark interrupted

"I know she has name Mark.. I was trying to think of something better suited to her, like skank, or, or, ho, or something more creative. I'm too mad to be creative right now."

Mark grabbed her hand, "You need a drink. Let's go to Joe's"

He pushed open the door to Joe, Callie still behind, still going off about the blonde girl who took the rest of the day off… and he immediately regretted it. Sitting at a table laughing over drinks was Arizona and Shelly. Callie turned just in time to see them do shots. Slamming the shot glass down on the table, Arizona reached across to brush aside the brunettes hair. The girls eyes lock and Arizona leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and tentative, and brief. Arizona pulled back and looked at the girl, who smiled and pulled her in for another kiss. This lasted longer and Callie's eyes spewed flames and tears threatened to overtake her. "Great thinking Mark.!" She spat and turned and left the bar.

Mark watched sadly as Callie stalked the two women across the hall. It has been almost a month since the day Arizona had played hookie and just as long that Callie had kept her distance. He felt sorry for his best friend that she didn't step up to the plate and in the process had to watch as she lost the woman she loved. Arizona and Shelly laughing at the bedside of their amputee patient, who had come through the surgery with flying colors. She women stole small glances and touched each other with familiarity.

He caught sight of Lexi walking towards him. He hadn't spoken to her since she kissed him, and he knew that he had been just as big a fool and decided to stop that right now. She look so beautiful in her scrubs. She refused to make eye contact with him, so when she came within ear shot he said…

"I called her Lexi.." She stopped in her tracked but did not turn around. He continued.."We were arguing the other night and I called her Lexi. I miss you."

"wow" she laughed.. "Could have surprised me. I kissed you Mark.. I told you that I loved you and I wanted you back, and you what.. ignore me.. and now you suddenly want to tell me you call her, me?"

"I want everything with you." He said. "And I'm afraid that if I let you back in, I'll mess up again and you'll leave. So I told myself that instead of hurting us both, yes I ignored you. But I can't forget how you kissed me..I can't let you go no matter what do. So I called her Lexi, cause there's no one I'd rather argue with then you."

"Great. Glad you decided to make up your mind. But the thing is Mark, you didn't do it fast enough." She turned, and walked away.

Mark looked from Callie to Lexi and shook his head. He would never quite understand women.

"She's watching us again." Shelly groaned at Arizona.

"I'm sorry. " Arizona smiled softly at the girl .

"don't be sorry, I mean you were quite the catch, and she let you go.. I'd probably stalk too"

"It wasn't exactly like that…." Arizona began to add.

"I know, I know.. but you have to stop feeling guilty for the airport. You apologized, and did all you could do. You can't feel guilty for moving on." Arizona smiled at her…"Especially with me.. I mean I'm hot.. and I had dibs on you 1st."

Arizona smiled and kissed the girl. It was warm and familiar, like the first time she'd every kissed a girl… it had been this girl. And she knew the look that came into the girls eyes, because the 1st time she'd seen that look was from this girl, and she knew what she wanted to do next, because the 1st time she'd done that.. it was with this girl too… She glanced down the hall to see Meredith Grey talking to Callie, turn her attention from her and Shelly. She took the girls hand and hurried her down the hall to the nearest on call room.

She locked the door behind her. Her hand already undoing the bra of the brunette kissing her. After it was open the girl pinned Arizona's hands to wall behind her and began kissing down her neck. She allowed Arizona's hand free only long enough to take off her scrubs and lay on the bed. Again pinning her hand above her had Shelly straddled Arizona and began sucking on her chest making the nipples protrude and hard. She allowed her free hand to make its way down between Arizona's leg. She was already wet and warm and moaned softly and the girl on top of her began working her fingers in circular motions, and others moving in and out. Arizona completely let the women take control of her, and she closed her eyes and felt everything. It didn't take long before her back arched and her breathing quickened. She slowly lower her back against the bed and took the girl in for a long kiss. IN what was intended to be a fluid movement she attempted to sit up and bring the girl on to her.. but instead only succeeded in rolling them both off the bed and on to the floor. They began laughing immediately and Arizona couldn't help but feel herself change. The laughed until their eyes watered and they got caught up in each other again. For the 1st time in almost 2 years she didn't think about Callie.


	14. Chapter 14

First off I am SO sorry for taking so long to update this. Like got, really, really crazy. But I promise to post more often. I actually have three more chapters ready to go too. But gonna post them one at a time. Also.. I am not the best proof reader so please be kind about the errors.

As always let me know what you think. I love to hear feedback, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Disclaimer: No, no I don't not own any of these character. It makes me sad every day.

Chapter 14

It seemed that Shelly was a constant fixture at the hospital now. Callie always expected to see Shelly. Coming out of a locked on call room, eating in the cafeteria, walking the halls with Arizona. It was like the normal thing to see. There was no more Calzona, or Arizalle as Mark liked to call them.. Though she preferred Calzona, she never said either aloud. She felt like a teenager when she did. At first she cried a lot, in anger in sadness, whatever. Arizona wasn't supposed to give up on them. She was suppose to wait. But she didn't. And so when Callie overheard that Shelly was moving in with Arizona she could barely muster any emotion at all. She just felt numb now.

She got a page and headed to the elevator to respond. The doors opened and she had already stepped in before she realized the other occupants of the elevator were Arizona and Shelly. Callie smiled politely and pressed the button for her floor.

"I think tonight would be a good time to figure out which side of the bed will be mine." Shelly said to Arizona. Arizona gave her a sideways glance. This was not the time or the place to discuss this. Shelly sighed and then the door opened and she kissed Arizona and said good bye. Smiling softly at Callie as she exited.

The doors closed again and they were alone. Arizona hated that they had not spoken to each unless it was about work. So she said.

"Hi."

The hello coming from behind the brunette was so soft she wasn't sure she heard anything. Until the women behind her cleared her throat and said louder,

"Hi."

Callie turned around and looked at the beautiful blonde, but the words that use to flow so easily between them were like swallowing razor blades now.

"Hi." She said in response. It was all she could muster. As the elevator continued moving it was Arizona who again spoke.

"Well, see, Shelly and I are having a party to celebrate her moving in tomorrow night and I would love it you could stop by. I mean I know your busy and all but I wanted to include you."

"Do you love her?" the words rushed out of Callie's mouth before she had sense enough to Censor them.

"Excause me?" Arizona said

"Do you love her? It's not a complicated question. It's actually pretty simple. Do. You. Love. Her."

Arizona was confused and frankly a bit angry that the georgeous brunette standing across from her was asking the question.

"Callie…"

"Do you love her?"

Arizona knew she couldn't lie to the girl. "I do." Callie's eyes dropped and her smile faded. "I do love her Callie. Do I love her the way I loved you? No. _**That's**_ the simple question. I find that it's so rare to find someone that you truly, unconditionally love. But I had to move on."

The doors opened and Arizona walked past Callie into the hallway. "I really hope you can make it."

The doors closed slower then Arizona had ever thought possible. She stared into the dark eyes of the brunette and saw so much there that confused her. When the doors were only inches apart she thought she heard Callie say "I love you." But when she turned around the doors were closed.

Callie's had was still clasped over her mouth when she ran into mark in the hall way. She was crying, and in rush to get to the nearest on call room. Mark didn't ask but followed her in. By the time he closed and locked the door she had turned around.

"She said she loves her Mark." Callie exploded. "She said she loves her and then she invited me to a party tonight. Like I would seriously go. We should go get drink tonight so I can drown my sorrows in tequila."

Mark looked sheepish. "I can't. I'm going to the Party."

"EXcause me? Your what?"

"You know Shelly is actually really nice. If you gave her a chance."

"I'm sorry.. have you lost your mind. First.. you're going to the party, and second you want me to give her a chance! You're my friend Mark!"

"Yes I am. But I am so Arizona's friend. And yeah this all started over some award and petty bitching and leaving you at the airport. But she came back for you Callie. She left an amazing job, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to come back here for you. I get that you were mad, and rightfully so, but you can't keep singing the same old tune Torres. Yes she walked away, but she came back. You walked away and stayed gone. Did you think she was never going to move on?"

Callie looked like she might slap him. "ARIZONA LEFT ME IN AN AIRPORT!" She yelled at the man that claimed to be her "friend".

"We know Torres. But she chose you. You chose to walk away. You can't blame her forever. So suck it up, or tell her you love her. Either way come to the party tonight and make nice."

"I told her I loved her." She said softly.

"What? When? What did she say?"

"Well…" Callie stammered. "I mean I said it right as the door to the elevator closed and I kind of whispered it so I don't know if she heard me."

Mark sighed. "Time to make up your mind Torres, and then take whatever happens." He looked at his best friend and he knew he should take his own advice and finally talk to Lexie.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks again for all the comments… I'm trying to keep up with the writing now that work is slower. Hope everyone is enjoying the stories as I enjoy so many that I read on here.

Disclaimer – The usual. I don't own these characters. I just enjoy watching them every Thursday.

Keep the comments coming. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Chapter 15

Lexie slowly walked into Arizona's apt. She knew that the people were all her friends but she always hated going to places where Mark was. It was just too hard. She knew she loved him, and that he use to love her, but this whole thing with Summer had thrown her for a loop. He obviously cared about the girl and her son and in a moment of jealousy she told him she loved him… and he did nothing. Then he told her he called Summer, Lexiee, and they broke up. She was unsure how to feel about that. Should she be happy that even though it took him forever and day to tell her, he did tell her, or should she feel like shit. Which really is what she did feel like. Mark had the family he wanted. And her words broke that up, and then because she was mad she stormed out and left him alone. What kind of a person did that. A crappy one. That's what she was, a crappy person.

Arizona smiled and hugged her as she came in. Arizona's posititivity never failed to amaze Lexiee. She was a little sad that Arizona and this other chick were moving in together. She always hoped that Callie and her would get back together. There were always her inspirational couple, and if they couldn't make it, then she knew that she and Mark couldn't.

She handed Arizona the bottle of wine she brought and took a seat on the couch and looked up to see Mark offering her a drink.

"C'mon take it. It's Lambrusco. It's really good." He smiled at her.

She took the drink and sipped it as he sat down next to her. "I hate that we aren't speaking Lex. I get that I did't handle things right, but I never wanted you mad at me."

"This isn't the time or place Mark." She said. Not wanting to discuss this at all. It all hurt her heart. And she got up and walked away.

Mark watched her go. Man that girl had a nice ass. It never stopped catching his eye. She may have thought this was the end of the discussion, but he had other plans.

The Party was in full swing, with loud music, and loud talking as Callie was thankful for that as she quietly crept in the front door. She scanned the room quickly to find mark talking to Derek and made a beeline for them.

"Torres you here!" mark said way to loudly for Callie's taste.

"Shhhhh." She added sounding annoyed.

"Why are we whispering?" Derek adding quietly to the conversation

"Cause Torres here is trying to hide from Arizona. Cause she's too scared to…"

"Mark!" Callie cut him off. Giving Derek a I'm sorry smile.

"None of my business." Derek said. "I'm gonna go get a drink." He excause himself.

"Look I'm not scared, ok maybe a little, but I'm just.. this isn't the time to deal with this."

"What is it with you women. You think it's never the time or place, and if it's never the time or place how do you ever expect to talk about anything?" He said sounding annoyed.

Callie looked at him and smiled , "Lexiee?"

"Lexie." He said in agreement. "but I'm not done with that yet. I have plan and you have to help me."


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer – No such luck in owning these character. Shonda, you lucky bastard.. lol

Also so sorry for these being so short. I don't have much time but I'm trying. I don't have a beta so, yeah, all errors are mine unfortunately.

This is how I wish the story had gone…Let me know what you think!

Chapter 16

In another area of the room Shelly saw Callie talking to Mark and went directly to Arizona. "What is she doing here?"

"Who here?" Arizona asked confused as she poured herself another glass of wine.

"Callie."

"Calliope came?" Shelly pointed to her and Mark. "Oh, well I invited her."

"What? Why would you do that Zona?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Arizona questioned.

"ummm, because she's your ex, who crushed you…"

"I crushed her first.."

"Stop. Stop doing that. It's doesn't' matter who hurt who first. You guys are not together anymore."

"I didn't say we were. What's going on here?"

"do I really have to say it.?

"I guess you do cause honestly I'm lost here."

"I don't want her here. She's your ex and I'm your gf and we are suppose to be celebrating you asking me to move in."

"I didn't asked you to move in. You decided to move in." Shelly gave her a "did you seriously just say?" that look. "But it doesn't matter who asked who, what does her being here have to do with any of that."

"Wow, Zona. Just Wow." And with that Shelly walked away from her and into the bedroom. Arizona looked around confused. She knew that not all exes remained friends but Shelly's reaction caught her off guard. She tried to steer clear of her for the rest of the party. She would deal with the drama after it. Everyone seemed to be having a good time and near midnight the house starting clearing out. She was surprised that Callie had stayed. It was good to see her. Though she didn't talk to her she knew it had already taken a lot for Callie to come and she didn't want to push her luck.

Callie looked seriously at her phone before answering it. "Dr. Torres. Hello, uh huh.. ok.. gotcha.. I'm on it.. thank you dr." she said into the phone. Looking around the room she spotted Lexiee.

"Have you been drinking?" She asked

"I glass but I really wish I had more to drink I mean I never just let go, you know…"

"Little Gray.." Callie interrupted. "I need you to go to the hospital. I have patient in 224 that is pushing out a yellowish fluid and I've been drinking. Can you go check it out for me while I get one more cup of cofffe in me?"

"Of course." Lexiee said. Always ready to be helpful especially if it involved work. She loved her job. Grabbing her purse she headed out the door.

The crowd was thinning out so Callie figured she better make a run for it. She quickly joined Derek and Meredith as they left. Arizona watched Callie leave as part of the last crowd out. It was so sad how it had all come to this. She said goodbye to the group and closed the door behind her. The house was mess, and Shelly was nowhere to be seen. So Arizona walked to the bedroom.

She opened the door to Shelly changing clothes. "You ok?" she asked

"We can clean all that up tomorrow." She answered avoiding the question.

"Hey, "Arizona stepped in front of her. "I'm sorry. I should have realized it would hurt you."

"How could you not know that Zona?"

"I just didn't think about it. I'm sorry. Yes her and I were together and we were great friends, so I was just trying to get some of that back."

"Back? Didn't you think that would bother me at all?"

"I didn't and I'm sorry. I had no idea she made you so jealous." Arizona teased.

"I'm not jealous. I just don't… FINE I'm jealous."

Arizona smiled her million dollar smile and kissed her. "you have nothing to worry about Shelly belly."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now.. if you don't get in that bed right now and let me do some ungodly things to you I'll have to do them by force.."

"Please." Shelly laughed. A knock at the door caught their attention.

"I'll get rid of whoever that is.. and you get rid of your clothes.." Arizona teased.

She left the room and opened the door to see Callie standing there. "I'm sorry to bother you but I think I left my phone."

Arizona found the phone and brought it to her. Knowing there would be drama if Shelly saw her she stepped into the hall way with Callie and closed the door softly. "Here. I wanted to thank you for coming. It was really good to see you."

Callie looked down at her phone. Not knowing what to say. It was Arizona who spoke again. "I know things got really messed up between us, and I'm sorry for that.. but you were my best friend and I hate that I lost that too and I'm hoping that if there's any way we can befriend I will do it." There was no response from the brunette in front of her. "Callie…" she said trying to prompt an answer.

Callie looked up at the beautiful blond in front of her. And she did the only thing she could think of. She put her hand behind Arizona's head and pulled her in for a kiss. It was soft, and sweet, and filled with all the passion and fear and anger she's felt all this time. Then she stopped and Arizona just stood there with her eyes still closed and with what looked like a tear forming. "I don't want to be your friends Arizona. I love you, and I regret every stupid day that I didn't take you back when you stood at my door and said that I looked beautiful. Every day. So I'm sorry, there is no way to get just that friendship back because I will never be able to put aside how much I love you and how I want to spend every day of my life with you. I love you Arizona. I love you. I love you."

Arizona just stood there looking into Callie's deep eyes and could see that every word the women had said she meant. And she didn't know what to do. Arizona was literally for the first time in her life at a loss for words. Callie backed up and looked at the tear rolling down the blonde's cheek. She reached out and wiped it away. "I just thought you deserved to know. I'm sorry for everything Arizona. I really am." And she turned and left the building with Arizona still standing in the door way.


	17. Chapter 17

As always disclaimer that I do not own these characters. I wish I did, but alas they belong to the great Shonda Rhimes.

Since I'm still reeling and crying about the untimely death of Lexie Grey I thought they deserved a chapter all to themselves and a moment of happiness.

Chapter 17

Back at the hospital Lexiee went to room 224, but it was empty. Confused she grabbed her phone and called Dr Torres. There was no answer. She went to the nearest nurses station and asked who had pages Callie and why. The head nurse had no idea that Dr Torres had been paged. After deciding that maybe Callie had just had too much to drink was messing with her she decided to head home. She was ready to walk out the door when a page came over the speaker for her to go to room 334 stat. She took off in a run.

"Shit, shit shit.." she mumbled as she hit the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. She wants to get there as soon as possible. How could she get the room #'s mixed up! She burst through the door to room 334. And stopped in her tracks. The Room emitted a bright glow, and smelled at lavender. It glowed because of the candles lit all around the room, the lavender candles that scented the room. Gone was the bed and in it's place was a chair and a food tray.

"Hello?" she asked tentatively as she approached. There was a note on the table that read _Please sit and enjoy the wine._ It was then that she noticed the open bottle of wine and glass waiting for her. "what the hell.." She whispered as she sat down.

Music began playing and she looked around to see the ipod radio as the lyrics first began.

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings  
But I know you're here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

The music went down a bit and Mark walked in from around the corner. "I don't' want you to say anything. Please. Let this be the time and place that I finally get to plead my case. " She closed her mouth.

"I know that I hurt you, and I know that this all happened cause I tried to make you want things that you weren't ready for, Sloan, a baby. I know that those are things I want in my life. But I also know that without you having those things don't mean anything. I tried to make it work with Summer. But it was only because I thought that there was no way you could ever love me again. But I think you do. And I think you're scared. Hell I'm scared. Because Little Gray, I have never loved anyone like I love you. And I don't want to play games anymore, and I don't want to always have to wonder if I could ever be a good enough man for you. I want to be with you, and I want to make you happy. If you will let me."

Lexie smiled. Why was it that this man could ALWAYS make her smile.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

She didn't know what to say to him so she did the next best thing. She got up and walked over to him and kissed him. She put her arms around his neck and pulled herself as close to him as she could get. And he kissed her back.

I don't know why you're so far away  
But I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through

He loved the taste of her lips and the smells of her perfume. He was wanted to scream, and cry, and pass out all at the same time. She was kissing him again. Not in a moment of jealousy or anger. Just because she wanted to kiss him. She kept kissing him and he moved his hands from her face to around her waist and held her close. He let his lips trails down her neck and ran his hands though her hair. She moaned softly into his ear.

She loved when he ran his fingers though her hair and the way he always knew exactly where to kiss her neck. It felt so good to be in his arm. So safe, and so familiar.. like coming home. He slid a hand under her shirt and the feel on his skin on her skin sit her body on fire and she grabbed his face again to kiss him. All thoughts of anything left and she felt was him.

And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
I hope I love you all my life

He picked her up and sat her on a counter where the sink was for room. And she continued to kiss him as she unbuttoned her pants. Finally reaching down she undid his as well, he lifted her off the counter enough to fully pull her jeans down. His pants down at his ankles now she pulled off his shirt and left her hands linger there as they came together for the first time in years.

She closed her eyes and gasped. He felt so good inside her, near her, kissing her.

He watched her as if it was the first time because it felt like he had been wanting this forever and seeing the passion in her face and the pleasure he was giving her was the most important thing in the world. Picking her up again he went to the floor and she sat over him, her long hair falling over her face and on to his face, his chest as she moved up and down.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Neither of them moved fast. They didn't want this to end. There was no rush, and when finally the both finished. She lay next to him on the floor of the room and laughed. He turned his head to her, "Ok not the best way to boost my ego after that."

Smiling she said.."I'm not laughing at that I'm laughing at this.. I mean how corny could you get. You couldn't just tell me you loved me."

Looking around the room he said, "It was either this or stand outside your widow with a boom box. And I didn't think Derek would appreciate that."

They laughed and got dressed. "So does that mean you love me too?" he asked tentative.

"You never have to wonder about that Mark. I have always loved you."

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
You know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

First off I'm so sorry it takes so long for updates on this. With a sick parent my life is not my own, so I really appreciate anyone still reading and commenting. You guys are great!

2nd.. so I don't get in trouble…Disclaimer.. I unfortunately do not own any of this wonderful world of Grey's Anatomy.

The next morning at work was possible the hardest one that Calliope had ever had. It was out there. She had told Arizona that she loved her. And she was freaking out. And to top it all off, she could not find Mark. She knew that must have meant that things went well for him with Lexi or he would have shown up at her house to commiserate their loss of loves with her. That was good for him.. but bad for her. Turning the corner she watched Mark and Lexi walk in together. Hand in hand. She sweetly kissed him goodbye and went to the neuro are. Mark was grinning from ear to ear. He headed directly to the latina.

"She loves me. I knew it." He said trying to sound cocky, but only sounding like a giddy teenager.

"No you didn't." She countered. He nudged her.

"How was the rest of your night?"

"I told her." She stopped directly in front of him. "I left my phone and when I went back to get it we were alone and she told me she wanted to be friends and i just did it. I told her.. I told her I loved her and I was sorry and I wanted to be with here and I kissed her."

"Wow." It took Mark a second to regain himself. "Did she kiss you back?"

'Yes. I mean.. I guess.. I just kind of grabbed her and kissed her. I think she did… omg Mark I don't know if she kissed me back!"

"What did she say?"

This time Callie seemed to think for a second, "Well nothing. I kind of just told her, kissed her and walked away. She just kind of stood there. That's not good is it Mark?"

"I'm gonna go with no.."

"Why?"

"Well considering the way she is storming over here right now I don't see this ending well."

Callie turned around just in time to see Arizona fly past her, "On call room.. NOW!" she fumed.

Callie gave Mark a help glance as she followed Arizona into the room.

Closing the door behind her she steadied herself for whatever Arizona was about to say.

But Arizona just stood there. Steam practically sprewing from her ears. Her face red. Her breath deep and annoyed sounding.

"Can you please tell me what the hell last night was about?" she finally demamded of the brunette.

"I thought it was pretty self explanatory."

"no, it wasn't. Cause since the day I got on that plane I've been sorry. I tried to apologize. I cried, and begged and pleaded and took your verbal abuse because I loved you. And you just let it go.. You let me go. And now.. what? Cause I'm finally happy you suddenly realize you love me.. or it is you just didn't think I would move on. Huh? Did you think I was going to be alone and pinning over you forever?!"

Callie knew there was no controlling her latin temper now. "Well now that you metion it yes! I did. You know things went so wrong between us but I never, never stopped loving you. And I never moved on! Little did I know that I meant so little to you!" She yelled.

Arizona laughed an angry laugh, "Are you kidding me! When I first gone all I heard about were your conquests. And when I when I came back YOU had a steady gf. Not me.. I sent a year trying to show you how sorry I was. And then Shelly came back into my life. And for the first time in ages I smiled again."

"oh believe me I remember everything about the day _Shelly Belly_ came back _Zona_." She said sarcastically.

"Good, then you remember that I smiled, and laughed, and felt good. Things I wanted from you but you refused to give me. You refused to _forgive_ me. So I moved on!"

"I know." Was finally all Callie could muster. She knew she was wrong.

"So how could you?! How could you now after all this time tell me you love me?! Are you insane?! Crazy?! Out of your mind?!"

There was no answer from Calliope. She simple looked at Arizona. Arizona shook her head. "Now, you have nothing to say?! Funny."

Arizona stormed towards the door, but Callie caught her arm and stopped her. "I'm sorry."

Arizona stared at the women, "Don't be sorry. Just don't.. ok." She looked down at her arm where Calliope was touching her for the first time in years. "Don't." She felt her anger turning. And she turned on the brunette and kissed her with such force it almost toppled them both over. She had never felt so much want as in the moment. She wanted to kiss her, tell her she loved her too.. and she wanted to hurt her. But once she started she couldn't stop herself and the woman before her wasn't about to stop her. She ripped off Callie's scrub top and kissed her way down to her neck and unhooked her lacey white bra. She heard the woman moan as she took the 1st of her already erect nipples into her mouth. She pulled down the scrub pants and pushed the women back onto the bed.

Callie didn't even have time to focus on anything before Arizona's lips were on hers. And that was it. She couldn't let Arizona get her clothes off fast enough. Back on the bed Arizona still fully clothed situated herself between Callie's legs and she could feel every move the blonde made. The first pressure as she pushed her finger into Callie. How good they felt moving in and out. The woman's thumb on her clit. She pushed against Arizona and felt the heat of the woman's breath on her neck.

Arizona lost herself in the soft wetness of the brunette. She felt the tightening on the girls pelvic muscles as she entered her fingers into the woman. She kissed her neck and listened to the sound of the moans and felt the girl writhe against her as she moved faster and faster. The brunette got louder and louder until Arizona could feel the release from Calliope, and felt her breath slow. It was then that Arizona realized what she'd done. She slowly removed herself from on top of Callie and sat on the edge of the bed.

Callie lay with her eyes closed. She felt Arizona stand up off the bed. She didn't want to open her eyes. Didn't want to wake up if this was dream. She only opened her eyes when she heard the click of the on call room door closing, leaving her alone in the room.


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks for all the follows and comments they are much appreciated. Hope this extra posting helps get a little forgiveness for taking so long to post, though considering what I wrote.. you'll probably make me hate me more.. lol enjoy

Disclaimer: Thank you to the wonderful Ms. Shonda! She owens them all.

Chapter 19

"ok.. I am in trouble" Arizona said to Teddy as she closed the door to the attending lounge. Teddy looked up from her case file at a very stressed Arizona. She raised her eye brow and the blonde plopped down on the sofa next to her. "I just slept with Callie."

"You What?!" Teddy said closing the now boring case. Arizona shook her head, and covered her face with her hand. "Well, I guess it was more of a revenge fuck, idk.. it just happened."

"Revenge fuck?" Teddy asked.

"You know she came to the party last night, and then forgot her phone and came back to get it and told me she loved and wanted to be with me and she kissed me and then she left" Arizon blurted out all in one breath. Here she paused at look at a confused Teddy.

"I know were not in high school anymore, so how does kissing you mean revenge fuck?"

"I was so mad. I mean, I had to go to bed with Shelly and pretend not to be thinking about that kiss and all those things she said.. and it just.. it pissed me off. Like why now? I mean, what a cruel thing to do, and I fumed all night and today I just wanted to rip into her. So I pulled her into an on call room…"

"Never a good idea.." Teddy smiled

"It was initially cause I called her out on all her bs and then she apologized, and it all just felt like a cruel joke and then grabbed my hand and all I wanted to do was punish her, and kiss her, and hate her. And so I did. And then all of sudden it was over and I felt dirty on so many levels." She finally took a breath and looked at a stunned Teddy.

The brunette stared at the blonde who had taken Hunts place as her best friend and couldn't help but laugh. The girl across from her looked at her in disbelief. "Are you seriously laughing at me?"

Giggling, Teddy tried to explain. "It's not you.. it's just.. I mean do we work in Peyton Place…it's just… " She started laughing again. "I mean, it's like some TV show in here. Everyone in love, in hate, together, broken up, and now this.. I mean did you know this morning I actually saw Lexie and Mark are back together.. I mean.. " she laughed again, and this time Arizona joined her. It was so true.

Finally composing themselves, Arizona looked at Teddy, "what did I do? I've hurt Callie, again, and this time I'm hurting Shelly too." She sighed and all the smiles left her eyes.

The Latina watched as Arizona spoke to the parents of a child they would work together to fix a broken limb. They ease with which Arizona has ignored her since their time in the on call room 3 months ago amazed her. Forget any type of friendship that the blonde had claimed to originally want, she ceased to exist to the women after that day. And it killed her. Arizona really hated her that much. The only time they spoke was for work purposes, and today was one of those.

"So I'll go ahead and hand you over to Dr. Torres. She is the best there is and she'll walk you through the surgery. Dr. Torres?" Arizona handed over the patient and his parents to Callie.

"Hi. Well the good news is I think I can fix the leg without much loss of feeling or use, the bad news is it will require 2, possibly 3 separate surgeries to complete and month of therapy." She continued explaining the procedure but Arizona just watched her.

How could this possibly be the same woman she had loved so much all those years ago. The woman she gave up Malawee for. How could that woman be a stranger now? She had made it so that they had no more contact after that day. The one she wanted to forget and just couldn't get out of her mind. She knew that there was no way these two could be just friends. She had loved Callie too much and for too long to every be just friends. And she had Shelly. It all just felt surreal. Her phone rang and interrupted the consult. She excused herself to take the call.

"Hi."

"What time will you be home?" Shelly asked.

"I don't know." Arizona sighed.

There was silence on the other end. "Hello?" Arizona asked to verify if her gf was still there.

"I'm here." Shelly said. "The problem is, you never are."

"Meaning?" the blond said into the phone.

"Meaning you are never home. You come in late and leave early, you never make time for us."

"Shel, I'm a surgeon, at a teaching hospital, I'm not the most easily accessible person."

"You don't even try." Shelly said upset.

"Well what do you want me to do, just tell this child's parents that this surgery could save their sons leg, but it will have to wait till tomorrow cause I have to go home and spend time with my gf."

Silence again. She knew she was being a bitch. The truth was the last few months she spent more and more time at the hospital, and less and less at home with Shelly. She sighed, "ok, I'm sorry. I'll try" it was a promise she wasn't sure she could keep.

Hanging up the phone she sat on a nearby chair and looked up as Dr. Torres approached. She stared up at the brunette. "The parents are signing the consent as we speak. When do you want to schedule it?"

The beautiful blonde looked at the women she use to love, "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry. For leaving you in that room and for what happened in there. I should have stopped it."

Callie sat down next her. "I didn't exactly stop it either. I just had no idea you hated me so much."

It caught Callie off guard the look in those beautiful blue eyes as they stared at her so intensely. "Is that what you think? That I hate you?" Callie looked down at her hands.

Arizona took one of Callie's hands in her own. "I don't hate you Calliope. I could never hate you. But I don't trust you. I told you once I was good man in a storm, and I meant it, but you just walked away. Why would I brave a storm for someone who never took the chance of wading into it with me."

She began to walk away but Callie followed her into the lounge. "You left me, not the other way around."

"And here we go again. It will always come back to this. Who hurt who first? Who moved on first? If we really loved each other wouldn't that stop being an issue at some point? Wouldn't it start to be about who's going to make that first move in forgiving the other? And yet here we are. You can't forgive me for doing what I felt I had to do in the moment no matter how wrong it was, and I can't forgive you for making me beg and plead and prove myself only to still have you walk away. So, I don't hate you, ok. I don't. But I don't think that we can ever be ok again."

"I know I made mistakes. I know that I held on to my hurt longer then I should have. That I hurt you too. But I love you Arizona. I don't want you to be sorry about the on call room. I want you to tell me that you loved being with me. That you love me like I love you."

"I did Calliope." Tears began forming in the sky blue eyes in front of Callie. "I did love kissing you again, and holding you, … but all of that doesn't matter if I don't trust you."

"Please, don't do this.." Callie began pleading as she felt what could truly be the end of any hope about them being together falling on her like a ton of bricks. "Please…"

"I'm going to ask Shelly to marry me." The silence that followed was deafening. "I wanted you to hear about it from me. I'm sorry." Arizona kissed Calliope gently and sweetly on the lips. "I'll always love you. I'm sorry." And she walked away.


	20. Chapter 20

Watching Arizona walk away was like a thousand gallons of ice cold water drowning her. Sending a shiver down her spine, and brining tears to her eyes. There is was. All these years later and finally it was happening. She was really losing Arizona forever. All this time.. All this pain, and not once did Callie believe it was the end of their story.. and now Arizona was going to marry Shelly. The world seemed out of focus, and the tears threatened to spill out in the very public hallway. She closed the door to the nearest on call room. She lowered herself against the door and let the tears take over. She cried, and cried, and texted Mark. And when he came to the room he held her against his chest and let her cry. It was the only thing he could do now to help his best friend.

As the months passed Arizona made sure that she was always friendly with Calliope. She had meant it when she said she would always love her. She would. But too much time had passed, and too many things had complicated what was between them. She had a life now, and a wedding quickly approaching to the women she had grown to love. This life was simple. They worked, they lived. It was easy. It was nice. The two had set up their wedding to be a small affair. Family only. She didn't want to have to invite anyone from the hospital, because she didn't want to have to exclude Calliope.

The day come faster than she ever thought possible. The small Oceanside property where the wedding was to be held was decorated beautifully. The yellow and blue colors blowing gently in the ocean breeze. In her white suit Arizona waited in the room for the minister to let them know it was time to start. She looked at her loose French braid in the mirror. Soft tendrils hanging loose around her face. Behind her she caught the reflection of a man in a suit, surprised to see him there she turned "Mark? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my friend tie the knot. I don't know if I should be offended that I didn't get the invitation or if it just got lost in the mail.?"

She smiled as she walked over to hug him. "You look amazing Robbins." He says.

"I did want you here, but Calliope is your best friend, and I can't hurt her anymore Mark. We've hurt each other enough for 2 lifetimes."

"You know. Sometimes forgiveness goes a long way." She looked up at Mark as he finished his sentence.

"I forgave her a long time ago Mark. I was wrong, but I forgave her for what she did after it all started. Forgiveness was never the problem, at least not from me. She never forgave me."

"I think you might be wrong about that one." He turned Arizona towards the doorway. Flaxen haired Callie standing there, looking terrified. "Excuse me" Mark quietly says as he leaves, giving each woman a peck on the cheek before closing the door behind him.

Arizona couldn't look Callie in the eyes. Not now, not on this day. The solitary company of the silence seemed deafening, louder than any words they had ever spoken.

"I love you." The words said as soft as possible, but sounding as if they came from a blow horn, Callie walked up next to Arizona. "I do.. I, I.. always have and I always will, and I think that maybe what you just said, it was right. I came here to tell you how wrong you were to do this, and how wrong it was that we weren't together, but I don't think I can do that. Because I think you were right. I don't think I did forgive you. I put too much on you and not enough on myself. I blamed too much on you and didn't take on any of the responsibility. I didn't forgive you. I'm so sorry." She looked at the amazing Blonde standing in front of her. "I'm so, so sorry for so many things, past and present. That I pushed you away, that I didn't run after you, that I didn't just tell you that I loved you and let you go. I didn't love you the way you deserved to be loved. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that more often, or show that. But mostly I am sorry that I let you go. That I let you move on. That I let another woman became THE women in your life, because I wanted more than anything to be that person again."

"Callie.." Arizona tries to interject wiping a tear away from both their cheeks.

"I forgive you. " Callie says stopping Arizona's hand on her face. "I forgive you. I'm sorry that I'm so late. But I won't let you be unhappy anymore. I won't let you feel guilty. "

"I do love you Calliope." Arizona chokes out.

"I know." Callie barely whispers. "but you love her too, and today… she will become your wife." She takes a step closer to Arizona, "You look beautiful" she says as she brushes away some of those loose curl. "Congratulations Arizona."

"Thank you." Arizona says through tears. Callie smiled and says…

"You stay here and be happy."

Arizona stands alone in the room and watches the brunette walk out her door.

As the music starts and their families begin to stand, Shelly gives herself last minute adjustments to her dress. Arizona stands up at the altar, and Callie takes a last look though a door at the wedding about to happen. She sees herself in the dress walking up toward Arizona as the wedding march measures each step she takes. She sees her hand take Arizona's as she reach the alter herself. But it isn't her, its Shelly, and she can't bear to watch anymore. She closes the door and heads back to Seattle Grace, to her work, and her life… her life without Arizona, and the solitary company of what could have been.


	21. AN

I Just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who read this... and all the reviews.. good and bad. I always appreciate constructive comments.

And yes I'm a masochist ... sorry.


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